I think this is where I might head. As of right now I am going to get an associates in social sciences. My dreams of being a chef have been altered, I will never stop cooking, I will never stop having a passion for food. I am going to take it somewhere else. In fact its more of what I wanted to do than just be a cook. I want to travel, write, learn about the spirit of food, the healing of food, the culture of it, everything that comes with it. 

I should be writing more often but I seem to stay more in my mind. I need to break that cycle. The cards show me I am closer, I must stay on track. I must undergo the 9. Fast, lack of rest, pure serperation of the senses in order to enhance my physical being. 

I am making another Brazilian dish chicken cuscuz. Should be fun. Should be magical. 

If I do finally decide to let myself go into writing I must stay focused, my mind still wanders. I need more control over my head. Met Tet, Met Tet who are you? I should look for clues.

Pomba Gira is my guardian angel, I've walked with her my whole life. 

Marie is my mentor, my teacher, my mother.

Who is my Met Tet? 

Yesterday I made Brazilian Shrimp Stew for Pomba. It was pure magic. my friends had the most powerful reaction to it, they seem to mecome drunk off it. I felt an alomst powerful and magnetic energy throughout me. It seems I have been able to channel my power and energy into the food I make, an almost spell casting effect. It has never happened before and I must admit it frightened me. 

I move Pomba's altar for the summer. 

I had the strangest dreams last night. I was pregnant with child, and I was traveling to Louisiana, someone was taking me there, perhaps Marie, and we came to this gigantic and beautiful house, I remember the sun coming through all the windows. I remember standing in an empty room and putting my hand to my stomach, I did not want anyone else there, it was for me and the baby I so strongly wanted to protect. It was purely magical, so real and powerful. What it means I don't know but as of late I have wanted a child more than anything.  

My fast has been successful, I did not fall asleep till about 4 PM after 3 cups of coffee and and hour and a half at the gym. I'm in the middle of making Palmeni's (Ukrainian Meat Dumplings) and I've made about 40 or 50 so far. They can be stored in the freezer for months which is excellent. I will make some tomorrow for the girls. 

I need to find an excellent Brazillian dish for Pomba Gira. I'll probably be on later tonight, I think I'm going to start my very own South American cuisine community. Yayness! I need to take pictures.

I also need to research scholarships and loans for my financial aid meeting with Kendall tomorrow! I'm lighting my candle again. I had the most intense experience with Pomba Gira last night. I journaled it and I'll post it up later.

I also need to study my spanish! 

Te quiero mijas. 

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn...........I hate you, fucking scale, I did not gain three pounds............all I had was 2 tacos and a bagel......you are a dirty whore who plays mind games with me. I will Cafe now for days. Oh mia, oh mya. It lies you know, every time of day, it say 107...then 105.6...then 108.somefuck, liar, liar, liar. I'll be back you little shit and you better be nice. 

Aqui, mi anante.

Well sha lala, I'm going to learn spanish, even if it kills me. Latifuckin da. 

KENDALL PLEASE TAKE ME, I WANT YOUR KITCHENS AND YOUR SPAINISH LESSONS AND YOUR AWESOME REPUTATION. I can cook I sweat, I can cook guma, ajiaco, caramel, cupcakes, brownies, creole chicken, tacos, anything and everything you throw at me I will fucking whoop its ass and own it. If not then its to the Institue mijas.

I need to work some ache. Conjure up mi mojo. Hehehe looks like Mo-ho, to me now.

FUCK ME

Okay, I'm going to do a reading, and work some magic, hopefully this works. O fcourse it'll work, Legba, Ezilia, Maria, Pomba Gira, they are with me when I need them. The only time they seem to dissappear is when i turn away. 

I'm a stupid fuck.

Well 123 lets see how this works.